Teen Mom Confidential: Secrets & Scandals From MTV's Most Controversial Shows by Majeski Ashley & Daly Sean

Author:Majeski, Ashley & Daly, Sean
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Publisher: Roundup Publishing
Published: 2013-04-21T04:00:00+00:00

Deep inside, Amber Portwood knew that prison time was the only thing that could save her life. By the time she appeared in front of Madison County Indiana Judge David Happe on June 5, 2012, the troubled MTV mom had already made up her mind to abandon a court-ordered rehab program and surrender to five years in the big house.

“In my situation, I felt in the program there were a lot of eyes on me,” she told ABC News days later. “And it was very uncomfortable. I was not using my anti-psych medication even. I was very depressed, all alone, all bitter at everybody. I felt like that wasn't the life I wanted to live, I felt like I'd rather do my time, and get it over with, and make the best out of the situation that's been handed to me.”

Amber, just 22, had been sucked into a downward spiral fueled by anger, loneliness and drug addiction. She escaped serious slammer time in November 2010 after kicking, shoving, slapping and punching Gary Shirley - the father of her then one-year-old daughter, Leah. But the high school dropout - who struggles with bipolar disorder - was busted again in December 2011 when probation officers discovered a large stash of prescription pills in her home. “She said she was taking the drugs for a medical condition,” County Prosecutor Rodney Cummings told The Indianapolis Star. “But the physician treating her did not support that.”

Amber spent a month in the clink before reaching a plea deal that included participation in the drug rehab program. She was making every effort to stay clean, her brother Shawn told OK! magazine. Doctors even refused to give her over-the-counter painkillers after an emergency gallbladder operation in the spring of 2012. But somehow, Amber found a supply of Suboxone. The drug - which is often prescribed to treat opiate addition - began to deepen her depression. “She started using right after her surgery and then she realized she couldn't stop,” Shawn said. Unable to find work and facing her demons amid the glare of a bright media spotlight, a despondent Amber consumed 30 pills in just three days in what she later admitted was a second attempt to end her life.

“The depression took over and I would just take four or five at a time beneath my tongue and nod out,” she said. “I felt the same way I felt a couple of years back, when I, you know, tried to commit suicide.”

Despite the relapse, Amber would likely have been given additional opportunities to get back on track and avoid being thrown into a population of murderers, rapists and other hardened criminals. “But she just said she couldn't do it and she wanted out of the program,” Cummings said. “I don't know that she realized she would actually go to prison... I don't think she's been realistic about the whole thing all along. Whatever celebrity comes along with [being on MTV], I think she thought it was going to prevent her from being held accountable.

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